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Hey guys!

First of all I super apologize that the first update in a while is for bad news. But I suppose that can't really be helped much considering life has a way of really kicking you where it hurts. I'll get right to the point though.

Recently (about 3 weeks or so ago) I noticed my cat's foot was a little swollen. Didn't really think much of it but after talking it over with  Filly, we decided that it'd be better to be safe than sorry and took her to the vet. Ended up doing a biopsy and despite a lot of hopefulness from both me and the vet that it was just an oddly placed fatty deposit, we later found out that it was in fact a malignant tumor.

The good news is that currently it's low grade, the bad news is that if left alone it WILL get worse eventually.

I am absolutely devastated. This cat is my baby, she's my little fuzzy ball of moral support and on my bad days, one of the only motivations to get up in the morning. It's hard to imagine anything bad happening to her and yet, here we are.

Needless to say I'm going to try to do everything I can to help her get better again, but as much as I hate to admit it, I really need help in doing so. I've been trying my best to look for a job since early January, but being the off season have had little luck so at current, commissions are my only income.

The vet bills thus far have totaled over 1k (proof if needed sta.sh/29iq37d23vd?edit=1 ) I've been able to pay them off thus far, but with either radiation and surgery or a leg amputation in the forseeable future, I will be unable to continue to do so without taking a massive hit to my personal savings.

I don't know if anyone is interested or not, but I will be opening a gofundme whenever we decide which treatment route we'll be taking. I hate feeling like I'm begging for money and I'm sorry if it seems that way to some people. But my cat is very important to me and if that means just sucking it up and not being so gosh dang stubborn about things, that's what I'm going to do.

In the mean time though, I am offering some kitty prints in order to start gathering some support until then. They will be pwyw with a min price of $6USD or you can get both for $10! [will link examples here one I upload the submission] If you are interested, by all means feel free to note me here or via telegram or twitter (@ stupidshepherd) and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

  AlfaFilly is also selling some mini comics to help out if you're interested! alfafilly.deviantart.com/art..…

if you'd like, you can also donate via my ko-fi link here ko-fi.com/A741HE1


I'll be trying to open up a few extra or special commission slots here and there, but I don't want to fully open emergency commissions just yet as it would be unfair to those who I'm currently working with. Keep your eyes peeled though!


Also even if you can't donate/commission/snag a kitty print, I'd be more than grateful to you if you wouldn't mind spreading the word.

Thank you so much
  • Reading: Dark tower VII
  • Playing: Dad Rising 2
I wasn't really going to post it here because, mostly because I never feel I have the grounds to make journals since I'm always so inactive and this is going on two week old news now, but ah well here we go

I GRADUATED!
I now have a BFA in animation!
And I feel a little bit better about it than I did at the start of things. Going into this quarter was a nightmare. As I've said before, I've been slowly falling out of love with my major (animation) for a while now and so for the longest time I felt like I was working towards something very hollow and empty. However lots of support from classmates and my professional development teacher really showed me that even though I may be weak in one area, I have lots of strengths in others. They also made me feel like my work was worth something and that I was worth something as well. It really meant a lot as I often have doubts about all of these things.

I also managed to achieve my goal of graduating with honors! It was a real struggle with so much going on and both classes being insanely demanding for the first half of the quarter, but thankfully I was able to pull through and will be graduating with a GPA of 3.58! In hindsight I wish that I wouldve taken my first quarter more seriously but coming from a lazy low B/High C student in high school, I'm very happy with myself for being able to get my shit together and even get anything good at all haha!

All in all though, I wish I could say I'm excited but tbh I just feel indifferent for the whole thing. I'm very relieved to finally be done with my senior film, but mostly I'm afraid because I have no idea what to do next. The structure that's been in my life for so long now is gone and it's going to be weird once that fully hits me. I don't know where I'll be living soon or what I'll be doing but I'm going to try my best to get my shit together and figure it out!  Major thanks go out to  :linkalfafilly: for helping me with my backgrounds as well as being the best buddy moral support I couldve asked for as well as Yagamifoxclaw for doing my music! 

I wish I could say that I'll be taking the rest of the month off as a break, but  good lord I have so much to do that things have become just as busy as school was!   I have a long waitlist of telegram stickers to dig into since demanding classes led to lack of time to work on commissions, as I really want to get some gifts done for friends before christmas if possible and I really haven't finished christmas shopping irl either! 

I lost about a week or so to travel which set me back a bit and now come to find out today I need all four of my wisdom teeth out so that'll probably push my work schedule back a day or two as well. NEEDLESS TO SAY THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY BUSY MONTH

but honestly it's kind of nice. Aside from the wisdom teeth thing which I am utterly terrified of, at least I'll be able to work on things I enjoy again so I can at least find some comfort in that! 
  • Reading: Dark tower VII
  • Playing: Dad Rising 2
Every so often I feel really compelled to make a journal and update people here, but sitting down and actually doing it is always....weird i guess? Like when you haven't talked to a friend for so long it feels too late to contact them or  thinking of  a funny thing to say much after  the conversation is over and if you did either now it'd be awkward? I guess that's kind of what posting a journal feels like to me.

Either way, trying to push past the awkwardness  for this one because I feel like I owe some sort of  explanation of inactivity to anyone who still actively watches me here.

I suppose my main reason for not posting much here just boils down to how much I hate Deviantart. I really haven't been too fond of it for a while but the constant begging for ad revenue  as well as the grossly obnoxious adds that pop out of place and cover whatever I'm trying to read (via mobile)  really do not help the situation. Honestly the only good thing that keeps me checking up on this place are the fantastic people I've met over the past few years.

Another thing that has been keeping me away, and that I've really been putting some thought into is lack of interest more or less.
about 90% of the art i've made this year has been commissions in some way shape or form and out of that commission pile, more than half has been telegram sticker submissions. While I greatly enjoy and am happy with most of the packs produced, I'm sure seeing nothing but expression sheets gets very old after a while for whoever is watching me, especially with the large gaps of inactivity between uploads. 

I've come to the conclusion that really there's not much of a reason for me to continue uploading these here, or commissions in general for that matter.  I don't really get much interest in commissions here anyway so there's really no point in re-posting all of them here as well. It's not doing much good for advertisement and quite frankly i think it's doing more harm than good considering most of my gallery is now just things i've done for other people instead of how it used to be with things and fun projects for myself/friends.  While I do put my heart into and enjoy every commission I make, i feel as though my gallery no longer represents me as a person and I really want to get back to that so that maybe Deviantart can be a fun little space again.    I'll still post some commissions i'm exceptionally happy with or proud of, but for the most part I'll keep a large portion of it to FA only since that's where the majority of the demand for commissions are.

Aside from that, life has just been busy as always. This year got off to a horrible start and swiftly went downhill from there. Things have been exceptionally busy and exhausting with trying to finish up my final quarter. I miss talking to friends, I miss having time to do things for myself, I miss a lot of things but just have zero time or energy to do any of it. Things will be drastically changing soon and I'm not ready for any of it. It's a constant up and down every day but I'm trying my best to manage as much as I can.
I really want to doodle stupid things today so if anyone wants a silly doodle of their character just slap me a ref below as well as a brief description of your character
Finished stuff will most likely look like these stupidshepherd.deviantart.com/…  
Doing this question thingy since I figured it was about time to make a new journal anyway and at least I'll have a little more motivation to provide updates.

Apologies for the relative inactivity of personal work yet again, I always say I'm going to try to provide more content here yet every time I say that something comes up and I am inable in some way or another to do so. Summer is coming to an end and I'm really dissappointed in myself for not doing as much as I had wanted to do by now. I had some major depressive episodes the past month or two which ended up making me almost completely unable to do things that weren't commissions and as much as I love creating work for other people, I wish I could have done more of my own things at the same time. Even now I'm struggling a bit to get back on track. It's also made it a bit difficult to talk to people, even replying to comments seems the equivallent of running a marathon sometimes. I apologize to any friends I may have neglected or failed to comment on the past couple weeks. I truly care about you all and follow your work as much as I can, it's just been very hard to actually reply and talk.  Still powering through though and hoping to get out of this soon!

also additionally, question thingies!

  1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?

about 9 or 10 years now I think! This account is relatively new buy my old account was :iconpyromaniac1992:

  1. What does your username mean?

Well, my old name literally was my 15 year old self being all "what's the most badass name i can think of? pyromaniac? YEAH THAT'S RAD! aww that's taken already better add some numbers BUT NOT JUST ANY NUMBERS LETS MAKE IT MY BIRTH YEAR "  Then after a while I began to feel ashamed of this cringe worthy story and decided it was time to scrap the name (and numbers) and move on to something a little better so I pondered on it for a while and came up with stupidshepherd!  Mostly because at the time my fursona was a german shepherd and also I am a sucker for alliteration.  

  1. Describe yourself in three words.

big sad doormat

  1. Are you left or right handed?

Right!

  1. What was your first deviation?

this "beautiful" thing
I think this was also my first attempt at making a fursona too but I don't entirely remember xD

pyro wolf by pyromaniac1992

  1. What is your favourite type of art to create?

Silly noodle things, monsters, and silly noodle monsters!  one of my favorite things to do is just like, pick up a pen, start scribbling a shape and see what kind of crazy contorted animal comes out of it!

  1. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?

I really wish I could do digital paintings honestly, or cityscapes, or just be able to push my expressions or gestures a little farther.

  1. What was your first favourite?

The Biting Pear of Salamanca by ursulav
I still don't regret faving this

  1. What type of art do you tend to favourite the most?

I don't favorite things too too often so the majority of my favorites consist of things including my characters, but aside from that, I'm not too too sure. It's a mixture of monsters, spooky things, and just things with pretty colors!

Holy shit id rather die than see this coming at me by Sindonic Sunset in Rome by takmaj The Black Rabbit. by Camelid LoveWins by pikaole

  1. Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist?

I don't think I have a favorite deviant artist. But my favorite regular artists are Lucian Freud and Beth Cavener


  1. If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?

I've met quite a few already but maybe :tatsu_kimieroicon: because he is the raddest tiny fox friend I have and I have known him the longest (gotta be 8 years or something now!) and we gotta go have adventures someday >8c

  1. How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?

At the risk of sounding sappy, definitely :iconalfafilly: who for some reason continues to put up with my shit and many problems both here as well as irl. We step on eachother's toes sometimes but when it all comes down to it she always seems to be there for support. Also she's the best collab partner! I APPRECIATE YOU YOU BIG STINKY NUGGET >8v

  1. What are your preferred tools to create art?

For most of my art I use a medium Intuos 4 i think?  for doodling I really like loose sloppy pen doodles!

  1. What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?

My room surrounded by 3 big stinky cats

  1. What is your favourite DeviantArt memory?

I can't think of a specific memory but I've really enjoyed all the friends I've made here over the years. Even if we don't talk a whole lot they're still awesome people and it's been fun to watch them grow and grow alongside them!

#DeviantArtistQuestionnaire >8v

  • Listening to: Netflix and 2 air filters
  • Reading: Song of Susannah
  • Playing: Borderlands 2
  • Eating: Apple sauce pouches cause i'm 5
  • Drinking: water
FINALLY getting around to making a journal I said I was going to make back at the beginning of June. I always put these things aside because i am simply GOD AWFUL at typing out what i'm trying to say and just start rambling for days instead. (if i do that here i apologize in advance)

This first half of the year has been a lot different than I'm used to. :iconalfafilly: became my roomie for college which was a major change for me because even when I'm at home, the majority of the time no one else is around. It was a bit difficult to adjust to the first week or so but once I did it was a blast! It's really nice to have someone around to have around to have adventures and struggle through gross math classes with and I miss it a whole bunch atm! 

I also finally got a chance to go to DIDNEYWORL! which was very exciting since I had wanted to go for ages but never had before. Filly and I had planned the past year and a half for the trip (jokingly at first but then it turned into a real idea pssh) and worked our butts off the last year setting aside money from commissions to get the funds to go. I had never thought that I could afford something like this through my art and along with being the first big thing I saved up for without parental handouts, it felt really good that we were able to pull this off!  I feel so appreciative towards everyone who bought or showed interest in our collab commishes and our individual commissioners as well. Thank you guys so much we wouldnt have been able to reach our goal without you! ; A ;

As it stands now, I'm currently back at home up north trying to enjoy my summer vacation. It's been a little stressful as it always is adapting to different living space and conditions but i'm grateful it's been a ton better than last time to say the least.  I'm a little bummed out that I got here sort of late in the season which made finding a job a nonexistant option but I'm hoping to keep myself busy with art and commissions in the mean time to stay sane and earn a little more money.

Art wise,  I desperately need to redo my commission sheet because i feel like this current one is so outdated and confusing. I hope to make a new sheet really soon but in the mean time i won't be closing anything because prices will more or less be staying the same (also i don't know when I'll actually get the sheet done)

I'm also having a huuuge motivational decline that I'm trying desperately to push through with little to no progress. I've been feeling a little down this week so trying to do personal work lately has been like pulling teeth. I've been making myself work every day on small references and things in hopes it'll get better so here's to hoping the motivation will kick in soon so i don't waste all my summer free time!

In the mean time though, I kinda wanna try to get back into doing art trades and stuff. I've been pretty crappy at getting my own stuff done but i always feel a sense of obligation when getting things done for other people and can usually get things done relatively fast if i'm not busy! So if anyone's interested slap me a message and I'd be more than happy to take you up on that offer >:v not too sure how many i'd end up taking (if i even get any takers pssh) but I'd love to at least do a few!

or alternatively if you just want possible free art slap a ref down and maybe I'll take some requests too.
I JUST WANT TO TRY TO DRAW STUFF AGAIN AAH
  • Listening to: Netflix and 2 air filters
  • Reading: Song of Susannah
  • Playing: Borderlands 2
  • Eating: Apple sauce pouches cause i'm 5
  • Drinking: water
    Wow oh geez this journal should have been written like two weeks ago! But I kept putting it off because I'm not good at writing these things anyway so AAAAAAAoh well better late than never!


    It probably wasn't too apparent here anyway since I've been posting most of my stuff on FA and Tumblr lately (I gotta work on being more active here pssh) but I was pretty much gone the whole month of June when what was supposed to be just a week long visit with  AlfaFilly turned into being close to four weeks long.
   
     Not gonna bore anyone with details and to be honest I really don't even remember too many details but long story short, we got into a car accident in Alabama. Luckily we were both fine aside from a couple bruises here and here and some major whiplash the next day but my leaving kept getting more and more delayed because apparently insurance people take a million years to tell you if your car is totaled or not. Which I guess, looking back wasn't such a bad thing considering I was a hot mess the first couple days afterwards. My car really meant a lot to me and I know it's just an object but it had a lot of sentimental value so I was really upset to have to let it go. Obviously I'm not horribly torn up about it or anything but still kind of sad when I think about that kinda stuff. Still, aside from losing my baby, I had a very nice time with a very nice group of people. It was fun to have a temporary roomie and despite having been there for a large amount of time, I was still pretty bummed to have to go.

    I also wasn't looking forward to the drive home. I don't mind driving my car however I really dislike driving other people's cars and unfortunately that was the only way to get home since I had to stop back at my apartment in Georgia to get all my stuff before I headed back home to Delaware. Luckily the rental car place was nice enough to give me a car close enough to the size mine used to be and managed the whole drive back (16ish hours) with little to no problems aside from the occasional anxiety attack. So yes good times! 


    It took us a while but we finally managed to get a car sometime last week which was extremely good for me since I can't stand being stuck in the house for more than a couple days pssh. I've been keeping myself busy though by organizing the house and that's pretty much kept me busy every day since I got home. We're thinking of redoing the floor in my room sometime next week though too so that should be an adventure!
    Aside from that though my goal is to pick up where I left off in reading (and hopefully finish soon) The Dark Tower books. I got to Wizard and Glass last summer but stopped halfway through cause gosh dangit that book moves so slow for me ffffff.  Nevertheless it's been pretty refreshing having time to read just for fun again.

That just about sums up my plans for this summer. My mom and I may go to Disney some time late august but we're debating on just waiting till the winter because gosh dangit it's gonna be hooooooooot D8  and also finally NuclearLoop Is going to be visiting the following weekend and so there is very much excitement to be had! I've known dis ho for like what? 5-6ish years now i think so it'll be way cool to finally hang out in person. THIS YEAR (and the end of last year too) IS VERY EXCITING I WILL HAVE MET MY TWO INTERNET BEST FRIEND PEOPLE YAY
  • Listening to: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Reading: AAAAAASTEPHENKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Watching: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Playing: AAAAASAINTSROWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Eating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Drinking: teaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
GO GO GO GO REQUEST GO!

>not first come first serve so comment any time
>preferably visual refs
>request multiple things if you want i don't care (though you'll probably only get one but yunno)
> most likely gonna be sketchy like this> 31.media.tumblr.com/ca039dc266…
>
however if you want something cleaner you can upgrade to anything on my commission sheet (lined/colored/shaded/etc...) for $5 off base price
>These are requests, they are done on my own time at my own pace, so I cannot guarantee 100% yours will get done





 
  • Listening to: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Reading: AAAAAASTEPHENKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Watching: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Playing: AAAAASAINTSROWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Eating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Drinking: teaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
wow okay hey DA journal it's been a while!


you can skip this first paragraph if you want it's just life updates and stuff if you wanna know what's up and nothing really important


So first of all, again, sorry for being inactive all over the place. School has been crazy and gives me little to no free time each week. I only have classes two days a week but it's 10 hours straight both days and, gosh dangit are they demanding. More reading than responding than actual drawing so far but it takes me most of my free days to get everything done and really burns me out. That aside, I've been sick for the past four or five days making everything go even slower than it already is. Luckily it hit me on Wednesday when my weekend started and is slowly clearing up. I doubt I'll be 100% by tomorrow but at least I don't feel like I'm dying anymore.

TL;DR
School's a bitch and it gives me art blocks also I'm sick but it's not too bad anymore

**additionally, sorry for no spontaneous requests this month, school is too much of a butt for me to focus on anything else 8c **

ANYWAYS

The real point of this journal was that I was hoping to get some feedback on some stuff.

With christmas and all that coming up I could really use some money for stuff and so I was thinking of possibly doing some commission deals and such but I'm not entirely sure what to do. So if there's anything any of you would possibly be interested in I'd really like to hear it.


I was possibly thinking of doing a flat rate sale for a few and maybe a few cute little pre-pose chibi things for cheap with some kind of theme

Not entirely sure what else to do though. I have a few old characters that I wouldn't mind selling but I'm kind of on the fence about adoptable type things plus I doubt anyone would have any interest in them so I'm not so sure about that.

but anyways, totally open for suggestions and such so fire away if you have any!
'cause i gotta move my butt on getting ready for the holiday season D:
  • Listening to: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Reading: AAAAAASTEPHENKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Watching: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Playing: AAAAASAINTSROWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Eating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Drinking: teaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN GUYS. I've been wanting to do requests again for a while because it's cool and fun to draw new characters and all that and given the fact school is starting again in a couple weeks, I don't know when I'm gonna be able to do that if i don't do it now.

I wanna make it interesting this time though. Last time I did derpy requests ( stupidshepherd.deviantart.com/… ) This time I'd like to do somewhat of a grab bag type thingy. What's that mean?  It means if chosen, your picture could be any one of these thingies or even something like a traditional sketch or ink. IT'S A MYSTERY~

SO HERE'S THE DEAL

Just post a link to your charry's ref (or two or three or whatevs) in this here journal and I'll pick out a couple for some people.

 I can't promise a certain number of what I'll get done. I may just do a few or I may choose to do all of them like last time I don't know.

You can also tell me what you'd like (ex. "i'd like a sketch/derp/fully colored and shaded picture)  although I can't promise you that I'll do that specific thing

If you got a request last time feel free to ask for one again ain't no limit


OK HAVE FUN!
  • Listening to: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Reading: AAAAAASTEPHENKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Watching: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Playing: AAAAASAINTSROWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Eating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Drinking: iAAAAAAAA
cause i haven't done a personal journal in a long time and look i'm not a robot!

Imma try to make this journal as brief as possible because gosh dangit it's hard to focus right now.

BUT HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON IN PARO'S LIFE RIGHT NOW IF ANYONE'S INTERESTED.

So school's out and has been out for about two weeks now, I got my associates in animation which i'm very happy about but still I feel like I can accomplish noting.

I'm going down to Georgia next year in an attempt to get a bachelor's degree. It's going to be weird being so far away from home.

I'm slowly getting back into drawing for myself again although it's proving really hard and frustrating atm.

I feel apathetic about everything and that is frustrating as well i think.

I still want to do commissions but paypal's being a ho. I'm almost done working out prices and things I want to offer though! so once the whole paypal thing is up and running it should go pretty quickly from there.

I need to find a job so i can help pay for things because I feel bad about existing.

I want to start up some more sewing projects but i've lost all motivation to do anything someone help me

GOSH DANGIT WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE 8c

I'M READING LOTS OF STEPHEN KING BOOKS BECAUSE I CAN


SPEAKING OF WHICH


IS ANYONE EXCITED FOR THIS HO?

BECAUSE IDK IF I AM OR NOT CAUSE IT LOOKS CHEESY

BUT THE 1994 MINISERIES OF THE STAND WAS CHEESY AND I LOVED THAT MOFO

SO IDK

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyDMR1…

that is all



how are you all doing? c:
  • Listening to: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Reading: AAAAAASTEPHENKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Watching: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Playing: AAAAASAINTSROWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Eating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Drinking: iAAAAAAAA
:star: Kay guys I'm calling it a day for now. This was a way fun excersise and I enjoyed drawing all your charries but i'm so tired right now XD :star:
:star:Feel free to keep posting refs if you want a possible commission but as of now, posting a ref will not grantee your request will be drawn.  
:star:

I'M BORED AND I WANT TO DRAW THINGS

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND A VERY HIGH CHANCE OF YOUR CHARACTER LOOKING SUPER DERPY, SLAP SOME REFS OVER HERE AND I SHALL POSSIBLY DO THESE THINGS.

IMMA PICK AND CHOOSE RANDOMLY SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT FIRST COME FIRST SERVE AND STUFF JUST SPAM DIS HO
  • Listening to: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Reading: AAAAAASTEPHENKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Watching: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Playing: AAAAASAINTSROWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Eating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Drinking: iAAAAAAAA
College started up again today so I figured I'd update my journal 'cause yunno, why not?

I really don't know what to expect from this semester. I no longer have writing and lit and art history classes which, in a way kind of makes me happy but at the same time is a little unnerving since i've gotten used to what to expect from those classes and now I've got entirely new ones with entirely new teachers so that's gonna take some getting used to. The biggest change though is that the head of our animation department decided to quit so once again we have a new one. In a way I'm kinda happy about this since I really didn't like our old one for a number of reasons, though at the same time it makes me a little mad since we're half done with the year, our old teacher knew and got used to us and now we have to do it all over again. I don't know it just seems a little too late to be pulling that yunno?

aside from that I'm both happy and upset to be back here. There are a lot of things I dislike about my schedule but the fact that I have fridays off again makes things a little more worth it. I enjoy being back with my friends and I have a pretty awesome roommate which really makes up for being stuck in a very gross city most of the week. I really miss my cats and was a little reluctant to leave them this morning especially since my older cat just had surgery to remove a mass from his ear (it was minor surgery and he's perfectly back to normal now but still, he's my baby and i worry about him) so it would have been nice to keep an eye on him for a few more days. I'm a little worried my mom won't take care of my fish while I'm gone too but seeing as i come home on weekends it's not one of my top concerns. Not being able to drive as much is a bit of a downer though. I dunno it's been kind of a 50/50 thing on preferring to be here or there.

At least here I have stuff to keep me busy pssh.

Transcripts and applications are being sent out and now all I gotta do is work on my portfolio and get that sent out too so i guess that's kinda gettin there too
  • Listening to: Red Bar Radio
  • Reading: Insomnia/ It/ The Stand: Night Has Come
  • Drinking: idk some kinda fruit juice
Is probably one of the best pieces of advice you can follow in college.
Like seriously.

As much as I've loved my second year of college so far, it's been a bitch and a half to get through, and coming up on the halfway point here and christmas break, I really wish I had another week or so to get everything together because, well, balancing seven or so classes (especially one that requires you to shit out 60+ drawings every assignment)  has really been a struggle. Of course, that's to be expected and that's not what I'm complaining about because despite that, I really enjoy everything.

What I don't enjoy however, Is this clusterfuck of things thrown at us last minute.

Our finals consist of:
one 30 second to 2 minute animation
a 6 page comic
an animatic
and 3 illustrations from our comic
an art history exam
an animation history exam
and a writing and lit exam

Now, the Art History and Writing and lit exams are to be expected, The 6 page comic was built off a previous existing assignment so we had a much lighter workload there (basically one assignment was "okay guys make 3 comic pages then make 3 more and finish the previous for your final") so it wasn't too bad. The illustrations are kind of a pain but again, nothing too bad there.

The storyboarding class (6 page comic final) and drawing for animation class (3 illustrations from comic final) are taught by the same teacher who pretty much understood we have a lot of crap to do. Even though she still gave us a bunch of things, she was smart enough to allow our projects for the two classes to pretty much fit together thus making things just a little better. I really appreciate this teacher because despite telling it how it is and acting extremely snarky most of the time, in the end she really does care about how we do and tries to help us along and tries to make us push ourselves to be better. I have absolutely no issue with her.

What I do have an issue with, is the newly hired head of our animation department.
I suppose I'm a bit biased considering I was looking forward to having the previous director for a teacher since like, 11th grade and was extremely disappointed to hear he was leaving last year. Nonetheless I gave this new person a chance and despite my best effort to give them the benefit of the doubt, I can without a doubt say that I can't stand them. I love my major, I love my classes, I love the people I'm forced to constantly be around, but this professor (if one could even call them that) just pushes all my buttons constantly.

For one, most of her assignments feel like they were just planned on a whim. (One week near the beginning we spent a class making stupid gifs cause she wanted to do some sort of compilation for a contest or something when we were supposed to be focusing on walk cycles.) Additionally, she rarely gives good critique, (it usually consists of "you should probably fix this" but she never tells us or points us in the right direction as to how to fix it) and she gives off the most condescending vibes sometime.  She also pulls these last minute plans out of her ass for field trips and such and expects us to drop everything and go do them at our own expense (ex: one week she decided we were all going to take a field trip to philidelphia to see a film festival. The trip was to take place that Friday. She told us this on tuesday and only finalized the plans that thursday. If that wasn't enough she expected us to get there on our own *she lives in philidelphia and didn't want to come down to the school to guide us into getting to the correct location* and pay an upwards of 16 bucks to get there by train.) and if that wasn't bad enough, on our manditory trip to the Metropolitan museum of art she decided to schedule a studio tour.
This would have been nice except we always have to do an assignment at the met for art history which a) makes up about 20% of our final grade and b)takes a pretty long time to get done. The studio she wanted to go to was in brooklyn and would have taken a large chunk of time to get there, would have cost us more money, and would have given us the risk of not finishing our previous assignment. We told her our concerns about the assignment and afterwards for the next few weeks she bugged us profusely with "well do you absolutely HAVE to finish it?" and "so do you think you can hurry and get it done in an hour?"
Naturally a lot of us didn't go and despite her making the trip optional after awhile, gave us an attitude when we told her we were going to stay behind.

That's another thing, she gives us an attitude quite a bit. but before I get into that I should probably give a background on this:
You see, Charels, my laptop, decided that finals week would be a fabulous time to add to my stress and on tuesday, he thought it would be fun to have his video card act up and make my screen look like this> sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos…
every time I used photoshop or flash. Because of this, I can no longer do my animation final on my laptop 'cause despite setting flash to autosave every 10ish minutes, I don't like having to force shut down my computer every hour so I've had to use the computer lab for the past week.

This leads us to the story I was talking about earlier. I was going to the lab to work on my project but to do so I had to sign out a tablet from the library. I was informed I had to get my teacher's permission to do this so I went off to go ask her. She was in class but they were listening to a guest speaker (who wasn't really telling them much at the moment aside from basic photoshop things) I was quiet and respectful and if anything she made more of a commotion than I did because when I went to go ask her about the tablets she made a big scene of getting up and walking to the corner of the room to talk to me.
I told her I wanted to work in the basement because, well, I didn't wanna disrupt mister guest speaker man. Her response was to ask in a whiny voice if i could work up in the classroom cause she didn't feel like going down and signing out a tablet for me (if i was to work in that room all i'd have to do was get a tablet pen from the library) I felt kind of uncomfortable doing this but I didn't wanna argue so i went and got a pen and tried to get to work, unfortunately the tablet did not want to do so. so i had to go talk to her again and again she made a big deal out of it. She started messing with the tablet and sort of complaining under her breath. I ended up quietly asking her if it would be easier if I just worked in the basement. It was a simple enough question and I only asked it because I figured it would take shorter for both of us. To which she decided to snap at at me "I DON'T FEEL LIKE SIGNING A TABLET OUT FOR YOU!"

all because she didn't want to miss the exhilarating lecture on how to use the magic wand tool to get rid of backgrounds.

Now I know how irritating it is having someone pull you away from something but really now, I was working on my FINAL for HER CLASS. You would think helping out your student who only needed a second of your time would be more important than not missing maybe 2-3 minutes tops of a presentation that was meant more for your class than it was for you.

so yes! this is my fabulous new teacher.

I completely forgot where I was going with this journal now psssh so i'll just end it here.
sorry for the rant but I hope you enjoyed some fun stories at least.
Oh summer, where have you gone...


      Unfortunately I didn't finish anywhere near as much as I had planned, but I really think I needed that break from everything. Earlier this summer I could barely finish a sketch and though I still don't feel 100% motivation-wise, It's gotten a whole lot better than it was.
     The same can be said about the emotional issues. Earlier this year, there was hardly a day I didn't wake up and immediately start crying for an hour or so. I'm not even entirely sure why this was the case. Whether it was college stress, one change after another, turning 20, not being able to find a job, fear of the unknown, I honestly don't know and I still don't know entirely but whatever it was, it continued through a large portion of may and came up every so often the next few months. I still often feel very down and discouraged, I know it's not a legit reason to be upset but, let's face it, we all get upset about shit, whether it be serious or not. Nevertheless, I'm trying to fight it off to the best of my abilities and with a heck of a lot of distractions and some very amazing friends, I think I've got it decently under control for the time being.

So that just leaves the subject of college. Honestly, I don't feel anything. I'm not particularly excited to go back but I'm not really upset either and the same can be said about starting my major. I don't know it just feels like stuff is happening and I'm just watching it happen. It's rather unnerving. I know the feeling will most likely change when I get back. I really did enjoy my first year and I feel I've improved at least a little bit so that's good. Another positive is the fact I'm not sharing a room with the living trash heap again. My roommate this year was one of my good friends last year. We're both in the same major and seem to have the same sense of cleanliness and personal space among other things. So I'm a bit happy for that and hoping it'll work out decently enough.

Once again, I really don't remember what I was going to say next so with that, (and apologies for all the downer journals lately) I leave you with this adorable man singing to chatroulette people


:bulletblue: Pyro's Tumblr
:bulletorange: Harlie Formspring
:bulletblue: Daiquiri Formspring
Yes apparently it's that time of the month again... Journal posting time of course! The heck were you thinking of!? >8C

It really sucks that it's July already. Despite having an extra month of vacation it really feels like this summer is going by too fast and I really have no idea what to make of it. I can only describe it as one big roller coaster of feels.

(I'd like to take the time, at this point to say that, no this isn't a "BAAAAAAW MY LIFE SUCKS" journal. I apologize If it comes across that way but I'm not trying to get sympathy. I'm just giving life updates)

That being said, Lets get these negative things out of the way first:
First of all, for some reason my depression has decided to kick up again so some days I'll be feeling the best I've ever felt only to wind up crying my face off two minutes later for absolutely no logical reason whatsoever. It got extremely bad for a while to the point i could barely manage to drag myself out of bed and though I think I'm getting better control on it, I still have those days quite frequently. thanks all you guys who put up with my complaints and annoyingness on a daily basis. It really means a lot to me and I appreciate it

Next, there's the lack of activity 'round here. I guess that's all due to the fact that I seem to have lost any and all motivation that I managed to hold on to. I feel like I want to draw, I really do. But it seems like I can't even get past sketching most of the time. I don't know why, it just often ends up making me feel depressed for one reason or another. When I first started Anxiety and   Costello , I was extremely invested but halfway through working on them I lost all motivation to continue to the point it was almost painful to make myself keep working on them (heck, I still never fully finished cossie or its design) This mentality has been going on for about two months or so and I don't know if it's just because I'm in a massive art block or I'm still burnt out from college or what. I just really hope it goes away soon. Additionally, It seems like this only extends as far as personal work. I've done several collabs with people since this nonsense started and, while it still takes me longer than it used to take, I don't have much of an issue there and still find working with other people highly enjoyable. Personal things however, I can barely even manage to finish simple doodles.

Lastly on the negative department. At the start of summer, I submitted a reference to :iconlost-and-found-oct:of two of my newer characters Caine the Alligator and Riddley the....bird...thing? As much as I wanted to do this, I'm afraid I may to have to back out of le competition. This has a little to do with the fact I can't seem to do anything right now without falling into an apathetic slump but that's not really the big issue and I could probably get past that. Fact of the matter is, I'm afraid that even if I did get in, I wouldn't have time to work on it after college started and it'd just be a repeat of Coloring Medium where, despite pacing myself (I honestly did try. It just got super hectic towards the end with moving into a new place and having more work than I was used to) I still had to rush to complete my entry and ultimately ended up failing with my entry miserably (though I still believe I would have lost anyway 'cause my opponent is much better with this stuff than I am XD). Since this will be the year I am going into my major, I expect to be much busier than I was and even if I were to find the time, I'm afraid it would become more of a chore than something fun as the rounds progress. I actually have been thinking of plot and stuff and I may still give it a shot but the way things look now, I'm not so sure.

and with that, I end the negatives!  so on to the better stuff!

on a random note, The fuzzy handcuffs I put in my car's rear view mirror have scared and concerned a number of people. This makes me smile C:

:iconcoloring-mediumoct: is on its final round! :la: My former opponent :iconshinkoryu14: and my good friend :iconnuclearloop: are facing off against each other AND IT'S GONNA BE INTENSE >8C Both have awesome characters and stories and I anticipate reading both entries and you should too >8C.  Coloring Medium was the first (and so far, only) OCT that I've ever participated in and despite being somewhat inactive after losing badly in round 1, I really enjoyed the people, the time to time iscribble parties, and failing to understand how to play transformice. I wish both of you the best of luck c:

next, I finally got my housing papers in the mail today and I shall not be living with my previous satan of a roommate! That in itself is good news but it appears that it got better with the fact that I will be rooming with one of the few good friends I had the pleasure of meeting last year. We are both in the same major and get along relatively well, not to mention we both seem to have the same idea of what the cleanliness level should be (this was a major problem last year since I lived with the equivalent of a walking garbage pile last year) as well as personal space and alone time. I know living with friends can prove to be challenging but I really hope we can work something out.

and once again I completely forgot what else I was going to say so I'm just going to end it here.
HAVE SOME LINKS!

Pyro tumblr
Harlie Formspring
Daiquiri formspring
I haven't done one of these in awhile so eh I may as well give it a shot. Sorry for the journal spam to those who hate these things
tagged by :iconninjacard204:

OK HERE WE GO


1. you must post these rules.
2. each person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3. answer the questions the tagger set for you, and create ten (10) new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. you have to choose 10 people to tag and post their icons on your journal. Just pretend I did or didn't tag you depending on if you want to do this or not C:
5. go to their pages and tell them you have tagged her/him.
6. no tag backs.
7. no crap in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you're reading this." You have to tag 10 people.



things about myself:

1. I like to name inanimate objects. (ex: My car's name is Harvey)

2. I can honestly think of a million different things to say for these up till I have to and then I can't think of anything.

3. I like collecting skulls and furs. They make me smile 8'1

4. I'm the worst person in the world to take to amusement parks because I hardly go on anything (I really don't like rollercoasters, or water slides, or things that go up and down, or left to right, or upside down, or rotate, or generally move 8C)

5. Going with #4, I'm the best person to take to amusement parks if you do have lots of people that like to go on everything and you need someone to hold your handbags because I'm the best handbag holder in the world!

6. I don't have a favorite animal/my favorite animal never stays consistent when I decide I have one.

7.  Lately I've been addicted to saltine crackers

8. I like to cook but I don't normally like to eat.

9. I've been humming <a href="www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFh1uz…") Musetta's Waltz all morning for some reason and I don't know whether to be annoyed by that or not.

10. For some unbeknownst reason, I'm obsessed with the movie Reservoir dogs. Still not my favorite, but close.


questions So these were the old questions but Imma just answer them anyway cause I can

1. favourite band/artist?
Florence + the Machine

2. top 3 artists on da?
hmmm... I dunno, I never really thought of this. I guess :iconscrewbald: for sure.... uuuuuuh, I don't know :iconredcoatcat: and :iconradojavor: I guess

3. favourite game?
Now see this is a hard one. I have lots of different favorite games buuuuut for the sake of keeping it simple, let's say Portal2  because it was very well done and the ending made me shed manly tears aaaaand Red Dead Redemption because a) I was actually happy with the ending to it (I'm usually way picky XD) aaaaaand b) a few years later it still has replay value.

4. favourite childhood cartoon?
Angry beavers

5. traditional or digital?
I prefer digital but I should prooooooooobably get a little better at traditional.

6. call of duty, halo, battlefield, which game is better?
Halo. Elites are the most adorable things ever.

7. favourite book?
It's a tie between Firestarter and The Green Mile.

8. playstation vs xbox, which is better?
   I prefer my xbox but it's not like I have too much of a preference

9. favourite mythical creature?
Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf

10. if you could be any animal (mythical or normal), what would you be?
I would like to be whatever the crap pyro is. Being a smelly dog with big teeth and horns and creepy mouth tentacles would be fun~

K NOW THESE QUESTIONS I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANSWER

1. whats your favorite show?
Cartoon-wise, I'd have to say Regular Show and Superjail. Yeah, they're both extremely stupid but they amuse me.
non-cartoon shows I'd have to go with New Girl and Dexter.

2. whats your favorite place in the world?
I really don't have one at the moment.

3. whats your favorite animals?
Again, don't have one.

5.thing (or someone) that makes you laugh the most?
:iconbrightredrose: :iconnuclearloop: and :iconalfafilly: maaaaaaaaaan these guys always seem to find a way to cheer me up or make me laugh. I love you guys >:C

6. favorite candy?
Nerds rope

7. favorite song?
at the moment:
Florence+ The Machine- Shake it out
Mat Kearney- Nothing left to lose
Ellie Goulding- Lights

8. which is better, cats or dogs?
I have 2 cats but I think I'm more of a dog person

9. favorite cereal?
honey nut cheerios

10. favorite thing to do when bored?
draw nonsense
So May's really been flying by.  I finished my first year of college on the first and.....well, I'd say i was looking forward to my second year but really, I'm just glad for the break right now haha.  Things have been going decently well, been looking for a job as well as chillin, trying to get stuff done while getting hopelessly distracted.

SO ANYWAY ABOUT LIFE...

My birthday was on the 12th and I just want to thank everyone who stopped by and wished me a happy birthday. Especially so to the people who gave me some way fancy art. I honestly wasn't expecting any of this and you have no idea how much you made my day with that XD

In addition, My mom got me broadway tickets to go see Wicked next week which just has to be one of the most amazing birthday presents I've ever received.  We'll be staying till the end of the week (I think) I may or may not be in contact depending if i decide to bring my laptop, which I'm still pretty on the fence about doing, but if that is the case I'll definitely be trying to get some of my to do list done, specifically a long overdue commission.

and last (or i think this is last. I can never remember what I want to say) I think imma be participating in :iconlost-and-found-oct: I really want to get better at storylines and things of that nature and considering I probably have to learn this since my major is animation, I figure why not use this to practice and maybe learn a thing or two. I'm currently unsure the medium I want to use for this whether it be comics or illustrated lit (I really do suck at writing but like i said before, maybe this is a chance to get better) but whichever it is I'm hoping it'll be a lot of fun :)
  • Listening to: Show
And with that final exam at 3:00, my first year of college has officially ended. I honestly don't know if I'm happy about that or not to be honest. While a good portion of my time was spent being a grumpy face in the corner and wondering where my life was going, I actually really did have some fun. I met a bunch of new friends and though I'm still a socially awkward mess, I'd like to think I've at least gotten a little better. Organization has also gotten a bit better too (work schedule wise at least haha)  This year i experimented with several different schedules to try to evenly distribute work through the week so i wouldn't stress myself out and while towards the last week or two it ended up getting crazy, the majority of the year it worked rather well and i managed to get all homework done and turned in on time ( a feat i have never accomplished before in my life) aside from two assignments that were never made clear. Additionally I almost managed a perfect attendance for the first semester and would have achieved such if they didn't drag me out of class for being too sick.
   
   Today I pretty much spent the whole day cleaning/helping clean and when i finally turned in the key i must say I think i felt a little sad. Sure, I really didn't like living up there (this city is the most boring city in the world i swear) and i despised living with my roommate who made my dorm a terrible, miserable place (I have a story i shall share with you guys later about that...) but It was a nice little home away from home. I had my own little space and I was in charge of taking care of that and that was pretty cool in my opinion. While I'm overjoyed to be back where i can drive and have cats to hug, I don't know there was just something fun and exciting about living away.

The teachers were awesome, the friends I made were awesome, and I even got to meet and talk with the creator of Courage the Cowardly Dog. So i think overall I had a fun first year XD
It's just going to be hard getting out of the habit of waking up and going to class and that's probably going to mess with me for awhile. Good or bad, I don't care for change at first.

I was going to tell you a touching story about how i was reunited with my long lost art bag but I've lost my train of thought so I think I'll end this journal here.


I have lots of things I owe people and a few silly projects I'm excited to start but I think I'll be starting those tomorrow. It's been a long day and i just want to savor this moment of peace while I can haha
  • Listening to: Fleetwood Mac- Gypsy
  • Reading: The stand
  • Watching: New girl
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Water
Main Stuff

With spring break coming up and one more month of school things are really starting to get busy around here. Not so much because of the abundance of assignments, because really, all year I haven't felt like I've been saddled with too much that I couldn't handle but just the amount of work that each project requires. I've had a few instances where I've been completely burned out by it but looking back they weren't too bad and i was able to get them done along with a few personal projects on the side.
This time however, I'm not so sure that'll be the case. This week is pretty much being consumed by studying for an exam and I expect my final for 4D will be taking up a large majority of time (most likely till the end of april).  The project itself is a little animation (a touching story about pyro and a grumpy alligator to be precise) which i estimate will probably be over 2 minutes. Ideally It'll be colored and have some sound and crap like that but at the moment, getting everything sketched out is my main concern. I'm very excited to do this but at the same time extremely nervous since I've never done anything like this before.

anyways though, I think I've gotten off track here....

I suppose what I'm trying to say is I'll probably be way inactive with posting things for quite some time after this week. That's probably a good thing for most of you though seeing as most of what I do lately is just silly things.
Do expect one or two pictures in the near future as I'm just about finished with and an art trade that I just gotta line and color but after that aside from that it's gonna be pretty quiet here for awhile XD

TL;DR LOL COLLEGE :iconohyouplz:


Stupid stuff

:bulletblue: Pyro's Tumblr a.k.a The only thing standing between my gallery being overflowed with even more crap than it already is also you can ask crap here
:bulletorange: Harlie's Formspring
:bulletblue: Daiquiri's Formspring
  • Listening to: Fleetwood Mac- Gypsy
  • Reading: The stand
  • Watching: New girl
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Water